As we step into the new year, I’ve found myself reflecting deeply on boundaries—those essential yet often invisible lines that protect our energy, focus, and ability to show up fully.
Being in a helping profession like coaching, training, or leadership, I’ve realized how often these lines are tested, not just by others, but by ourselves.
There’s this unspoken expectation placed on people in roles like ours:
Be available. Be approachable. Be everything to everyone.
And when we resist? We risk being labelled as “unapproachable” or lacking “the right energy.”
But here’s what I’ve learned: Boundaries aren’t about being less kind or professional. They’re about sustaining ourselves so we can truly serve others.
Yet, the hardest part isn’t setting boundaries—it’s facing the inner barriers that sabotage them.
Here are five common inner barriers to setting healthy boundaries and some reflective prompts to help navigate them:
1. My Image: What if I appear unfriendly or unapproachable?
There’s a deep-seated fear that saying “no” or asking for time will make us seem cold or unkind. As helping professionals, we often equate being approachable with being endlessly available. But being approachable isn’t about sacrificing our needs—it’s about showing up authentically and sustainably.
Managing self-sabotage starts by taking your attention inward. Reflect on these questions when you have time to pause and think deeply.
How might redefining “approachable” serve you better?
When have you respected someone who set clear boundaries? What can you learn from their example?
2. My Finances: What if I lose business?
For many of us, the fear of financial loss is a powerful driver of overcommitment. Turning down a request or delaying a response can feel risky, especially when we’re self-employed or building a reputation. But saying “yes” to everything often leads to burnout—and burned-out professionals don’t attract clients.
Sometimes managing self-sabotage means letting yourself sit with uncomfortable questions like these. Use them to guide your internal dialogue.
How might honouring your boundaries improve the quality of your work and the relationships with your clients?
What would you say to a friend who feels pressured to sacrifice their well-being for income?
3. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): What if this is the most exciting project I’ll ever be invited to do?
This inner voice convinces us that every opportunity is once-in-a-lifetime, and saying “no” could mean missing something extraordinary. But in chasing every opportunity, we risk losing the ability to focus on the ones that truly align with our goals and values.
Shifting inward allows us to challenge these fears. Carry these questions with you and revisit them when doubt creeps in.
How do you differentiate between an aligned opportunity and a fleeting distraction?
What opportunities might you miss by saying “yes” to something that drains your energy?
4. My Values: Responsibility, support, and showing up are important to me—I can’t ignore them.
For those of us who value being dependable, boundaries can feel like betrayal. We want to support others, to honour our commitments, and to be present. But true support requires us to stay strong ourselves. Neglecting our own needs diminishes our ability to live those very values.
Reflecting on these questions can help you stay true to your values without compromising your well-being. Take time to explore them thoughtfully.
How might setting boundaries actually help you live in alignment with your values?
What would true responsibility to yourself and others look like?
5. My Sense of Self: I’m not that kind of person—I’m not selfish.
The fear of being perceived as selfish or egoistic can be overwhelming. But boundaries aren’t about selfishness; they’re about self-respect. They allow us to give from a place of abundance rather than depletion.
When you feel resistance, pause and look inward. These questions can help you unpack what’s holding you back.
How do you define “selfishness”? Does it truly apply to setting boundaries?
What would your best self say about honouring your energy and limits?
A New Perspective for the New Year
Boundaries are not barriers; they are bridges to showing up as your best self. They allow you to preserve your energy, focus on what truly matters, and serve others with integrity.
As we move forward into this year, I encourage you to reflect on your own boundaries:
Where are they strong?
Where might they need reinforcement?
And most importantly, how can you honour them without guilt, knowing they are a gift to yourself—and to the people you serve?
Let’s start the conversation. What barriers do you face when setting boundaries, and how do you navigate them?
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